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| Powerful you have become SOPA...The Dark Side I sense in you...and your toupee |
January 19th 2012 will always be remembered as a dark day. One of the darkest in recent times and on par with the bubonic plague. But students of the Earth are now shaking off the 24-hour daze that was the time when…Wikipedia blacked out. Yes it hurts to read and luckily no students were harmed, apart from the ones trying to cram as much information in as possible from “other websites” that is somehow relevant to their exam they had the next day, which they didn’t revise for and instead wrote a blog entry about how SOPA will cause the end of the world…But I digress because Wikipedia was of course making a stand against SOPA and Lamar Smith (pictured exhibiting a ridiculous hat of somebody else’s hair).
Yes, this is the reason why you can tell your parents that you failed that thermodynamics exam. Because a man you’ve never heard of, working a job you didn’t know existed, wearing a toupee that doesn’t match his own hair, is effectively trying to push the big red self destruct button on the internet that will inevitably be the reason for the end of the world come December 21st 2012.
Remember that time you wanted to find out about the Fresh Prince of Bel Air the other day? Not anymore. Ever thought about seeing how Lost ended? Slim chance. Or that time you wanted to read up on how jam was made? …Well if the legislation passes than that will be a thing of the past and we will have to go back to the days of knitting and ploughing the lawn for the corn season. Obviously it is understandable that piracy is wrong, this is an unbiased blog after all, and even if the in question perpetrator has a dead look in his eyes that suggests no one is buying his attempts to cover the unfortunate loss of hair, this is still something that the world does not need and should be confined to the basement of bad and potentially fatal ideas.
The longer you stare at the image of this man; you begin to build a rage that can only compare to that of Anakin Skywalker’s before he descended to the Dark Side. Maybe he just has a hateful face or maybe the colour of the toupee he sports is the equivalent of waving red at a bull. But the more you read into it, the more you think this Lamar Smith doesn’t really know what he is going on about, has never even used the internet and considers a risk to be using beef gravy granules with a chicken dinner. Why can we laugh at him? Because this man has multiple copyright violations against him…on his own website. Yes that’s right, this man is getting done by the thing that he is trying to push through. That’s like trying to run for PETA Presidency whilst sporting you’re brand new panda suit and baby seal slippers.
If there’s any justice in the world, if you don’t want the world to end in 2012 and still want be able to watch videos about cats falling over, then vote Pro Internet. The link basically explains everything they are trying to do in more realistic terms.
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